Are you your own Bottom Bitch?
Two weeks ago as I was running one of my cognitive restructuring groups in Aurora, the newest member of group, a 22 year old Puerto Rican, was holding court as the only woman in a group of men who were smitten by her street slang eloquence. Out of her mouth poured the phrase "bottom bitch".....I had to stop her and chuckle asking the question as possibly the only person in the room that was not aware of this term. She explained "Your bottom bitch is the bitch that will be there when every other one of those bitches and ho's are gone." Wow....that is deep..kind of sad in the context that it is also used by pimps to talk of their number one ho...
I spent the next week joking with colleagues about if they were anyone's "bottom bitch", laughing hillariously to hear these words come out of my mouth. This concept was working me over....until I found my self sitting at the table of Jimmy and Patty's in St. Louis, MO telling this story..."and you know who my Dad's bottom bitch is, my MOM!!!!!" We all laughed until tears came to our eyes because it was so true....and funny to apply such a term to my mom, an 81 year old white woman, who lives in a middle class suburb of Kansas City, MO, who mothered 9 children, and whose oldest brother's death was the reason I was in St Louis.
And she is the shining example of the Most Bottomest Bitch....she and Dad have been married 60 years and her love for him is unfailing. She has seen him through it all. The successes, the failures, the distance, the closeness, the openness the closedness...the humanity of it all. And somehow today more in love than ever!
And I realize that what i want more than anything....is to be my own "bottom bitch"....no to be the Truth's bottom bitch...or the great spirit's or God's or the Buddha's..whatever we call it. To allow my small s self to stand out of the way of the big S Self.
I spent the next week joking with colleagues about if they were anyone's "bottom bitch", laughing hillariously to hear these words come out of my mouth. This concept was working me over....until I found my self sitting at the table of Jimmy and Patty's in St. Louis, MO telling this story..."and you know who my Dad's bottom bitch is, my MOM!!!!!" We all laughed until tears came to our eyes because it was so true....and funny to apply such a term to my mom, an 81 year old white woman, who lives in a middle class suburb of Kansas City, MO, who mothered 9 children, and whose oldest brother's death was the reason I was in St Louis.
And she is the shining example of the Most Bottomest Bitch....she and Dad have been married 60 years and her love for him is unfailing. She has seen him through it all. The successes, the failures, the distance, the closeness, the openness the closedness...the humanity of it all. And somehow today more in love than ever!
And I realize that what i want more than anything....is to be my own "bottom bitch"....no to be the Truth's bottom bitch...or the great spirit's or God's or the Buddha's..whatever we call it. To allow my small s self to stand out of the way of the big S Self.
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