Off and on...the brink

I feel it deeply in my being
     as if something is ripping and I cannot hold it together

I feel it in my head as it spins through futures......
        that will never come, never manifest, never be one iota of anything

at this brink, I am emblodened,
       to reveal my pains, this ripping in my soma
     and they land on a flood of tears and pain....not held
but pushing her to the brink....of what i will never know as the pain that comes up has no words.....

this love is at the brink
      of an abyss
                 or a falling together......in this moment, there is not difference deep in throes of my soul